Mood Swing or Crazy

Is it normal to have a complete crying break down about a month before you have your baby? I lost it last night. It's like I had to just get it all out....everything that's getting on my nerves, my intolerance for John playing his stupid computer game every second he has free, frustration of not having a baby name yet and knowing that everybody is gonna be telling me what to do and how to do it after the baby gets here, and fears of a repeat of what happened when Bonnie was born (about 1,000 people with their ears cupped to the door of my labor and delivery room listening to me push and almost breaking the door down with their impatience while I was trying to nurse Bonnie and bond with her for the first time.....almost demanding that we let them in) I guess I'm just gonna have to get a backbone this time and stand up for myself. Anybody know where to get one of those? I haven't been able to find one at Walmart or anything.....I swear I'd rather buy one if than speak up because I'm so afraid of hurting anybody's feelings or having conflict......possibly my biggest weakness......Sorry to vent....I just have to get it all out! I got 3 hours of sleep last night. Bonnie wakes up all night long now either needing to give us a hug or kiss, pee-pee in the potty, or wanting crackers or water. I think God's trying to prepare me for not sleeping through the night again so I'm not in shock when the baby gets here, which is fine. I'm just tired. Insomnia is no fun! But on a positive note, it did give me the opportunity to cook John a homecooked breakfast for once in a long time! I figure if I've been awake since 2 in the morning, I need to make the most of it and be somewhat productive. I've only had probably 2 or 3 complete break-down crying spells this pregnancy, so that's probably pretty good compared to the average woman, so I guess it's just a mood swing. I think I'll try to nap when Bonnie does today and maybe make something good and chocolate to make me in a better mood. I don't like feeling so emotional and crabby but sometimes when the tears start flowing you can't stop them until they all run out! I know you've all probably experienced that too! :) Please don't think I'm crazy!

Progress

Today I went to my doctor's appointment and Dr. Woodford said the baby is head down (what a relief) and is very low. To all who care or understand what all this means, my cervix is thinning out and I'm 60% effaced and 1 cm dilated. I was 2 cm dilated with Bonnie for a couple of weeks before I had her, so we'll see. The fact that I'm already dilated really doesn't mean I'll have the baby early, but I'm excited about it because the more I progress before true labor sets in, the better! :) I go back every week now, so we'll see if things have changed any more next week.

5 Weeks and 2 days left!

I officially have 5 weeks and 2 days until my due date! I began freak-out mode last week and went bananas getting everything ready that I could. I bought the boy and girl outfits for the first picture and going home from the hospital. I'll exchange the ones I don't need after the baby gets here. I am so anxious to know what we're having!

So, I'm packing my hospital bag and trying to remember what all I need to bring. I took too much with Bonnie so I'm trying to consolodate. I packed snacks for John and money for the parking deck and vending machines. I brought a terry cloth rice thing that you warm up in the microwave to help with pain and it helped a LOT during those painful after birth contractions that you have for hours after delivering. I also brought a long white sock filled with tennis balls that is supposed to be good for massaging the woman's back during labor. I never used that! What a joke! I was going to do all natural childbirth with Bonnie and that went down the toilet at 7 cm dilated. I won't wait that long this time for an epidural. When I decided to get the epidural, my mother in law said, "You can just try natural on the next baby..." WHATEVER lady! Once you have found "a way out", you're an idiot to chose another direction the next time you're in that situation!

Sorry, I get off track sometimes..........I need your help. What were some of your "must haves" for your hospital bag? Do I really NEED to bring my nursing pump this time? I didn't use it before. What about something cute and comfortable for me to go home in? Do I even get a baby book for this child if I haven't even filled out Bonnie's? I'm bringing shampoo, conditioner, toothbrush, toothpaste, but do I need to bring soap/body wash too or will they provide that? I know it's only been 2 1/2 years since I've done this, but you really forget the details.....