Santa 2005 VS. Santa 2006

Bonnie with Santa at 4 weeks old (12-25-05)

Bonnie With Santa at almost 13 months old (12-20-06)

Have I ruined her forever? :)

GET OVER IT......somehow

What do you tell yourself when people around you continually say things to you that bring you down---whether if it's about your weight, looks, how you cook, etc.? Do you let those people make you believe whatever it is they think about you? Do you define yourself by what others think of you?

I am having a hard time letting things go. I am extremely sensitive and when somebody says something to me that hurts me I just dwell on it. I don't stand up for myself out of fear of confrontation. John says when people bite, I need to bite back. I don't agree that anything positive can come from that. It only makes my heart hard.

I am TOO worried about what others think about me or what I THINK others are thinking about me. I mean really, who am I that others just sit around talking about me as if I'm so important. Really, Scarlett. Get over yourself! I am sick of having such negative thinking!

Does anybody else struggle with this? Is this just a woman thing? I don't know any guys that do this to themselves!

Gena says, "Keep it light." I have GOT to learn how to do that!

What's your theme song right now?

I was just thinking............

You know how you hear a song on the radio or one just pops up in your head that the words describe just as you're feeling at the moment? Or do you ever hear a song and say, "Man, that's my theme song....it's as if I wrote it". Well, for those of you who are interested, I'd like to know what your theme song is and why. I've got so many, but the one that pops into my mind most of the time when I feel like complaining is this is the chorus of this song:

"You Can't Always Get What You Want"
BY: The Rolling Stones

Chorus:
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes, you just might find,
You get what you NEED!

*We need to count our blessings more often. A lot of the time things don't happen for us the way we want, but in the end, we usually get what we need. Sometimes we need the trials to teach us a lesson or strengthen us into the people we need to be. That's what makes us grow. God knows best!

My Baby's a Year Old!

Well, the first birthday party went pretty smoothly. Bonnie had a good nap before the party, we put on her party dress, the family arrived, and everything else was crazy fun and laughter! I made her birthday dress and could not bear to let her get it filthy so I stripped her to her diaper for the cake destruction! Let me tell you, she ate the whole thing (except for what was all over her little body)! I'm surprised she wasn't sick---granted it was a miniature cake I made for her---Double Chocolate Fudge with Buttercream icing! She didn't go to bed until almost 10:00! I just can't believe it's been a whole year. I'm happy but sad at the same time.

I love her so much it hurts!

God doesn't make mistakes

I just found my new theme song, but I've never heard the song. I don't know who this artist is or what kind of music she sings, but I'm gonna find out. It's like the words to this song mimic what's in my head. Why are we never satisfied with being ourselves?

"God Doesn't Make Mistakes"

By: Carolyn Dawn Johnson

A couple inches taller

Another size smaller

A little curl in my hair

Used to wish I was older

Now I wish I was younger

Back when I didn't have a care

Most of the time I am happy with what God gave me

Once in a while I wish that some miracle would change me

I'm ok with the way God made me

I have my days but doesn't everybody

It's not always easy for me to believe in myself

But I gotta remember I'm always gonna be a better me than anyone else

And God doesn't make mistakes

Mama says I'm special

Calls me her little angel

Yeah, I could almost do no wrong

But I trip and stumble

Guess that's what keeps you humble

But I pick myself up and I carry on

I'll never be a flawless model of perfection

Nobody's perfect and I admit I'm no exception

I'm ok with the way God made me

I have my days but doesn't everybody

It's not always easy for me to believe in myself

But I gotta rememberI'm always gonna be a better me than anyone else

And God doesn't make mistakes

I'm thankful for the rainy days

They only make the sunshine sweeter

I'm ok with the way God made me

I have my days but doesn't everybody

It's not always easy for me to believe in myself

But I gotta rememberI'm always gonna be a better me than anyone else

And God doesn't make mistakes

Mini-Van Mommy

We drove to Birmingham this morning and bought a 2003 Silver Honda Odyssey just like this one in the photo. I thought I'd take this time to blog my reasons for wanting one so badly (since everyone thinks I'm too young or whatever to be driving a minivan around.) To those of you who have dissed the idea of ever driving one, please keep in mind that I am a recovering minivan hater. I swore to myself, John, and everyone else I knew that I would NEVER EVER EVER drive a minivan. They were dorky and I was gonna be a cool mom even at the expense of the pain of having a small car with a child whose carseat and "stuff" takes up the entire seat of my Accord and whose stroller takes up the entire trunk of my car. Boy, have I eaten my words. Okay, enough rambling, on to the reasons for those of you who even care:

1. We already have an SUV and don't need another one.
2. Better gas mileage than an SUV
3. More room than another reg. sized SUV
4. Perfect for traveling to see John's parents (and other family members can go
with us without feeling squished)
5. Very spacious (room for the baby, her "stuff", groceries, the
stroller.......you get the point.
6. Heated seats
7. The DVD system for emergencies
8. Honda's drive for almost forever. I'll have it for a long time, hopefully!
9. LASTLY and of couse the most important factor in deciding on this vehicle:

I'll get to take my girls to the next American Idol concert or to the next Bunco get-together, or even on a shopping trip to let's say.....Nashville?

Yeah, you all let me know what you think.............
Do you still think I'm cool? HA! HA!

Dove - Evolution

This right here is why I have such a horrible time having any amount of self-esteem. The world really makes me feel ugly. Thank God for the true beauty Dove campaign. Let us all remember that God made us perfect no matter what society says.

Bonnie, Bonnie Pumpkin Eater

Link


Well, today I took Bonnie to the Pumpkin Patch at McGee Farm. She had so much fun! She laughed at the goats, pigs, and chickens. I think she would have gotten in the cage with them if I had let her!

The funniest thing that happened was when she took the stem of a pumpkin and put it in her mouth and started chewing on it. She made this funny face and then did it again. Next, she ate part of a bright yellow mum. I found part of it in her mouth 15 minutes later after I thought I had gotten it all! She's still alive and bouncing around, so I guess it didn't hurt her! I tell you what, she is growing SO quickly........and this "teething" thing is quite cute (except for when she's in pain). It's funny to see her reaction as she discovers the world around her by gnawing on everything in sight! No teeth yet....still waiting for one to pop through! Man, I love that little girl SO MUCH!

"Turn the Radio Up for that Sweet Sound"

As we made the 10 hour trip and back to Chicago, I had time to think and more importantly sing/dance/act silly to the lovely songs on the radio. Here are the things I learned:

1. Delilah comes on every channel in every town in every state of every country of every continent. I couldn't ever get rid of her! She picks the worst songs for these people....I don't know why they trust her to play a song representing their story. It very rarely makes any sense to me! AHHHHHH!!!

2. Nashville only plays country songs. Go figure.

3. The Chicago area stations play lots of fiesta music(fun for Bonnie to dance to in the car). That music made me crave Mexican food all week!

4. John and I are getting old.......John's cousin-age 11 had never heard "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson.... but he DID know who he was.

4. I have been singing the wrong words to many songs throughout my life. There are many more songs I've messed up, but Here's my list of the ones I came across on the trip:

"Shock to the heart and you're too late........... you give love a bad name"

"Blinded by the light......wrapped up like a douche she's like a motor in the night"

"Give me the Beach Boys and free my soul wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away"

"Down on the farm, out in the street" (CCR's Down on the corner)

Please feel free to leave me a comment about any songs you've "misheard". Come on, you know you've all done it before (or still do..........)

5. Last but not least: Florence is desperate for a good oldies (60's-70's) station to replace the predominantly rap one with potty mouth words that we have here. Chicago has an awesome one! However, Florence does have Sweet Tea.....whereas Chicago doesn't.....they looked at me like I was crazy when I forgot and tried to order some! :)

That's all for now..............Have a great day!

Leaving Town

We're going to be leaving tomorrow night to drive to Nashville and then drive to Chicago on Tuesday morning. John's aunt and uncle live there and we're gonna go visit. Maybe I'll see Oprah! Ha Ha! (if Krista is reading this)We will be back either late Saturday night or Sunday afternoon. Please pray that we have a safe trip there and back. Bonnie has never been in the car for that long, so pray that she will handle being confined for that long! See you all when we get back! Love you guys!

Ah....it's a piece of cake!

Will I ever get this good?

I'm taking a cake decorating class by a Wilton instructor at Hobby Lobby. Today was the first session. Next Saturday will be the last for Course 1. I am SO excited about what I've learned so far. I now know how to ice a completely smooth cake with no crumbs in the icing. We also did writing, dots, lines, and stars today. I can't wait to do flowers and stuff. I also learned how to take a coloring page or other clip art and get the image onto the cake before it's iced. Man, that's so cool!
I've been wanting to take some classes so I could make Bonnie's birthday cakes. There's a big kit that I want to buy SO BAD, but it's $130! I'll get it 40% off this coming week with the coupon in the paper. I'm gonna get it...I've bid on one on Ebay for $20 plus $20 shipping. That would be awesome if I got it at that price, but it probably wouldn't come in by the last class on Saturday. I just need to suck it up and quit being such a tight wad and just get the kit!!! It's cheaper than buying birthday cakes every year for however many years she'll let me make them! Anybody else interested in this new craft of mine?

We all scream for ice cream!!

I was just sitting here thinking about getting me a big bowl of ice cream: Mint Chocolate Chip is my latest favorite. About once a year, I get on this ice cream kick. It has just begun again! It's weird, but I get my ice cream cravings starting in the fall and lasting through the winter. I am still a fan of a good rocky road with the mini marshmallows in it--not the kind with the marshmallow swirls. I may try making that this winter! I was just wondering, what is your favorite flavor?

Relaxed.....at least for a little while

John and I decided to pack up Bonnie and head to Nashville this weekend just to get away. It was SO needed! For some reason, I had been really ill last week and just in some weird emotional state of mind (And NO Gena, I am NOT pregnant!). I think the stress is coming from the hectic drama going on in my sister's life that seems to be getting to me. It's like my nerves were just shot. Sometimes you just need to get away, so we did.

I've been on this 'get rid of clutter' frenzy, and I knew John's cousin, Jennifer, was having a yard sale on Saturday, and she told me to pack up some stuff to sell. I WENT A LITTLE OVERBOARD. I went through a bunch of stuff upstairs and in our closet and just started pulling things off hangers to sell. John caught me and had to 'inspect'. (He went through each item and made me put some of his stuff back. I guarantee that he would not have even noticed those things were gone if I had just gotten rid of them. One of the pairs of pants he made me put back had dust creases on them from the hanger. That's how long it's been since he's worn them. He informed me that he just didn't know they were back there. ANYWAY, I loaded up his Jeep when he wasn't looking with everything I could find in the house to get rid of. Bonnie barely had room to breathe in the back. I should've taken a picture, but my camera wouldn't have even fit in the car. I rode the whole way to Nashville with a box at my feet!

I made $97 at the yard sale.....YEAH!!! Now I can buy more junk! :) Just kidding! We donated what was left to Goodwill. I know it sounds crazy to bring a bunch of stuff all the way to Nashville for a yard sale, but that way I could sell/give things away in an area far away so I couldn't change my mind. I have become a packrat over the years of preschool teaching and school. I think I can save everything and make something out of it one day. I've GOT to stop that!

Today, I went with Jen to a baby shower and ate some good cake and then we went to a spa party. I felt SO relaxed afterwards. I wanted to buy everything that lady used on us to pamper us! Oh, By the way, the Beauty Control lady is coming to Florence to do a spa party for me. I thought it was time to have a relaxing night with the girls. The date is set for Thursday, October 12 6:00 p.m. at my house. It is going to be so much fun! PLEASE COME! We all need to chill out!

Well, I gotta quit blabbing and figure out how I'm gonna turn the bottoms of the drawers in my old chest of drawers that I'm taking to the dump tomrrow into an artistic splash guard for the kitchen. (Seriously....I know I'm pathetic!)

Mr. Clean is my new man!

I have recently discovered the most miraculous cleaning tool ever made: Mr. Clean's MAGIC ERASER. I have had this nasty brown hue on the bottom of my bathtub for months now. I have tried every cleaner under the sun to try to get through the little crevices of the textured tub, but nothing worked. I thought Clorox bleach would definitely do the trick, but it didn't bleach it at all! By the way, why is it that Clorox wouldn't bleach my tub after I poured almost a whole bottle in it, but if I drip one speck of it on me, it ruins my outfit with that awful orange stain it leaves? I don't get it!
Well, the other day I finally bought that Magic Eraser that's been on commercials for a couple of years I guess now, and I thought it was too good to be true. It worked better than I could have ever imagined! It is so awesome (and NO, Proctor and Gamble is not paying me for my testimony--I wish!) The package I bought came with 4 in it and it cost about 4 dollars I think. You only have to use water with it--NO CLEANERS NEEDED! If you don't scrub it to death in one sitting (like I ended up doing with the tub because I was so excited), it will last more than one time. It got all of the soap scum off of the shower/tub within seconds! I can't wait to break out a new Magic Eraser and test it out on the rest of the house! It's a miracle sponge! Go get one and try it on the walls where your kids have used crayons to draw on the wall. It really 'erases' things!

I wrote this poem about 5 years ago for a friend of mine after she went through a horrible breakup. I think it applies to everyone. There are many things in life we don't have control over, but we can choose how we deal with them. It's hard, but possible. I have to remind myself of this every day! Take with it what you wish.

Relationships are like candles.
Every time you build a relationship with someone,
you light another candle in your life.
You have the power to blow a candle out,
if you decide to.
A candle can burn until the wick burns out.
Some candles burn longer than others.
Wind can blow a candle out,
but you can relight it.
If rain or water falls on a candle,
it will make the candle’s flame disappear.
The candle cannot be lit successfully until it dries.
A candle will melt down to wax through time.
It doesn’t go away; it is still visibly there.
You can let the candle’s remains stay,
or you can put another candle in its place.

Candles come in all shapes, colors, and sizes.
However, what matters is the way
the candle makes you feel in its presence.
If the scent is too distracting,
you will keep a distance from it.
But, the candles that bring you
peace and tranquility by their
soft, relaxing, and welcoming scents
are the type of candles we all need
in every kind of relationship
we encounter in our life.

The object in life is to keep the candle burning
in our relationship with God, our family,
friends, and loved ones.
Sometimes when problems arise,
the candle’s flame will go out.
But is our decision to leave it that way,
or to try to relight it.

Sometimes, when you try to light a candle,
it will not light right away.
But, with patience and time,
You can often make the candle light again.
If it does not, with strength and perseverance,
you can start over, light another candle,
and enjoy the happiness it brings.

Bye, Bye Da Da

Bonnie is growing so quickly! It's so hard to believe! Two days ago she started saying "Bye Bye!" She had been making the "ba" sound before but now she understands what it means. It's so incredible how God lets these little people develop and it's amazing to watch it happen before your very eyes. Yesterday John was leaving for work and as he said bye to her, she said, "Bye Bye Da-Da" I know this is just a little phrase and is just one of the few she will be blabbing for the rest of her life.....especially if she's a talker like me :) She is interacting with us so much now! I absolutely LOVE it! She's not even 9 months old yet and she's wanting to walk so badly! She just keeps trying and never gives up! I just hope that's a sign of her being determined and not stubborn. Bless her little heart if she's stubborn like me!

Our future American Idol

This may be the cutest little girl ever! You won't understand what she's singing about but she's definitely got stage presence already! Enjoy!

Baby Beyonce!

I found this video about a year or two ago and wanted to share it with you. It reminds me of the moves that Paris Bennett did at the American Idol concert. I tell you what: This dad may be proud now, but when she hits the teenage years, he won't want her shaking like this! At least I hope not!

Synopsis of an American Idol Concert Experience

Where do I start? Last night a bunch of my girlfriends (Amy, Bridgett, Meredith, Trina, Gena, Shannan, and Cortney B.) embarked on the second annual American Idol Live Tour in Birmingham, Alabama. We had SO much FUN!It was an incredible concert!

Here's how I will sum up the evening:(Sorry in advance for being a smart butt!)
**Some of the people may be out of order.

1. We picked up Shannon in ? What town was that?
2. We got to the concert and walked down a stinky alley.
3. We found out that some man got Bucky's autograph and was waiting on Chris's.
4. The concert began.
5. Mandisa sang a song dedicated to Ruben Studdard. We were disappointed he didn't walk out! That would've been AWESOME!She sang "Angel" with Ace Young--PHENOMENAL DUET!
6. Ace Young began "Father Figure" using a pump or some kind of weird talent where he pumped his chest up and down to the beat at the beginning of the song. He slowly pulled his jacket off and acted like he was God's gift to all women! He's got such a wonderful voice, but he is such a goober on stage! I hope one day he realizes that he needs to play "a little hard to get" rather than "come and get me now". Sometimes LESS IS MORE, ACE!
7. Lisa Tucker gave a memorable performance as she sang Elton John's "Your Song" and "Somebody Saved My Life Tonight" while playing it on piano! The show did NOT do her justice. She was one of my favorites to watch at the concert.
8. Paris Bennett "worked it out". Let me just tell you: There was definitely some 'shaking' going on. I have to admit I wish I could pull off some of her moves!
She can definitely dance!--just not in the way I hope my kids will ever dance!
9.Bucky sang some songs---don't remember which ones--he is pretty good but not one to scream about (HOWEVER, the girl behind us thought he was! She screamed so loud and freaked out so much that I thought she might fall out. It reminded me of those videos you see of how the girls at Elvis's concert acted when they saw him!) Why would you freak out about Bucky? I don't get the attraction!
10. Kellie Pickler didn't really sing much. She didn't really act like she was very bubbly. Maybe she was tired! (But not too tired to put on that black tight outfit she likes to wear! I couldn't get my big toe in that thing!)
11. INTERMISSION-(lights on--people walking around--text messaging marriage proposals to Taylor and Chris on the screen--) The lady in front of us came back in the arena and asked if they'd started back yet. The lights were still on and there was nobody on stage.....Hmmmmm.....DUH! Bridget thought about pecking her on the shoulder and telling her that the concert has started back when the time was right. Poor thing, that lady must have been so confused or something.
12. Chris Daughtry--WOW! He's so AWESOME! I could listen to him all day!(And he's not bad to look at either)
13. Elliot Yamin- Yes, I would agree with my husband that he looks somewhat like a little troll but I am drawn to his voice! He seems to have such a kind heart and genuinely lives for his love of music. His voice is CAPTIVATING!
14. Bridget has a breakdown in the middle of Elliot's song. I think she might have been off in her own little moment-almost like she was pulled up from her seat by the mystical power of Elliot's vibratto. I didn't know she was such a good dancer!
15. Katherine McPhee sang my two favorite songs of hers--I sure wish she would've sung more. She was my pick to win!
16. TAYLOR HICKS! He's such a great performer to watch. I have to admit I had a little breakdown with Bridget during "Do I Make You Proud?" That song just makes you want to do some sort of a moving side-to-side big church choir type of thing! Taylor is so good! I am not sure if Amy got to really get the full effect of the concert because she was taking a billon pictures of her future husband. AWE! They would make such a cute couple! Maybe one day? How cool would that be!
17. Concert over---I get lost from the group. I had to get my free Mint Chocolate Chip Pop Tart after all! (it wasn't worth it--As Gena said, "Some flavors just aren't meant to be put in a Pop Tart!"
18. I found the group!
19. Amy and Cortney get lost from the group and had a great excuse: They saw their grandmother in the crowd after the concert! Talk about a shocker! I wonder if granny had her own breakdown.....we may never know!
20. We went back to the car (the long way).
21. We saw Corey Clark TRYING to sell his CDs. We weren't interested. Not many people were. He only had like 2 people by him. Maybe Paula will buy one!
22. We got out of the traffic jam and went to the ghetto station to get water, crackers, and a big whiff of Gena's new deodorant in the outside bathroom. Gena, I love it!
23. We sang every song under the sun ranging from "Turn the Radio Up" to "Our God is an Awesome God". I'm sure our silly dilirious giggles and harmonies kept Trina awake while driving home! Singing with all of you means so much to me. It's so uplifting to sing with such beautiful voices blending together. I'd love to do that again! I love you all and I had such a great time!


GO TO WWW.YOUTUBE.COM and search for American Idol Tour or search for a specific person you'd like to see. It doesn't do the concert justice, but it will give you an idea of what we saw.

Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel "BLAH"? I'm not happy, sad, mad, anything! I just feel like I've been walking around like a zombie all day! It's been so weird. I think it may have something to do with me not getting to spend all day with Bonnie for the past week. John's parents have been in town and she's spent the day and night with them almost every night! It has helped me so much to get some things done and just have some relaxation time, but I almost don't feel quite right without her. You get used to a routine and when you finally get time to relax alone, you almost don't know what to do with yourself! I'm sure I'll get over this! I tell you....it's not like me to NOT feel bouncy, hyper, and talkative (Duh, those of you who know me already know this.)

You know,I really think God has given me this time to rest, and I need to make sure I thank him for it. He really does "know just what I need."


"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Matthew 11:28-29


I think I've found that rest.....at least for today! :)

Thank God for true friends

I was just talking to my husband about how much I've enjoyed blogging (the whole 3-4 times I have--that is. I am finally feeling that sense of "community" that God wants us to have with one another.

I just wanted to write a quick note to let all of you know how much I deeply appreciate you all for encouraging me and just being there all the time. Thank you Amy for sharing the blogging world with me. It is changing my life and most importantly my attitude. Thank you Gena for instilling in me the power of God through our Christian friends who as you've said it "hold us up when we can't stand up" I have personally witnessed the power of that in my life and I see it working in yours and others' lives as well. Thank you Meredith for making me realize that I'm not the only stay-at-home mom who struggles to find that so-called "balance" in life's activities. I'm getting there (and just when I think I'm there, it will be time to have another child! :) Thank you Krista for giving me wisdom to manage my thoughts about those who I can't "fix". I am going to try to stop letting Satan make me feel guilty about those things which I have no control over. He is SO sneaky! To everyone else who reads, thank you for caring enough to take time out of your busy lives to see what's going on in mine....or are you just THAT bored! HA HA! :)

I'm not trying to be sappy, I just am feeling so blessed and thankful!
I love all of you and pray for you each day!

The "It's Not Fair!" Mentality

Okay, yes it's been like forever since I have blogged. There's been so much going on with my family. Right now, I just need to vent:

Why is it that people waste so much of their life saying "Life's not fair". Okay, I'm sure I've said it, but I don't whine about it all of the time and use it as an excuse for why I am happy or not. True--life is NOT fair. No one ever said it was! My 10th grade American History teacher always said, "The fair comes once a year. You'd better get your tickets or you'll miss it!" I always thought that was so funny! (plus he was the teacher that all the girls had a crush on, so he could've said that the sky was purple and we would've thought he was the smartest man alive)

ANYWAY---- back to my point: I am so sick of my family not being accountable for the stupid decisions they have made in their life and the ones they continue to make. Some of you know the situation. I have tried so hard to help them but I have done all I can do. God allows things to happen to teach us. It may not seem "FAIR", but that's the way it is and we can learn something from those unfair situations that can let us move into the right direction in our lives. I feel like God gives you a whisper in the beginning, then maybe a tap on the shoulder, then maybe a nudge, then a push, then lets you get knocked down on your feet sometimes before you even realize that he's been there the whole time trying to help you in the most "FAIR" way possible. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about---I'm talking about one of those people who everyone knows or has known at some point that keep saying "God's not helping me" when really their eyes have just not been opened yet to see that he is helping them--just not in the way they might want him to. I'm not judging or criticizing people who have been through these times. God knows I've been there....We ALL have lost some faith at some point.It's just so hard when people you love are going through these times and you know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel....they just don't see it. My prayer everyday is that I can say what I need to say to teach others about Christ and try to give them hope when it seems like all is lost. My problem comes when I've said and done everything I can, and I have to realize that they have to make that choice to take my advice or not. It's harder when it's your family, I think. Please continue to pray for those people who need to "Let go and Let God." We all need to do that don't we! :) Life still won't be FAIR, but it will be a lot easier to get through. That's all for now....Thanks for reading.

Psalm 139: a reminder

I had the hardest time coming up with a name for my blog. Everything that came to my head was already taken. I tried to think about what it is that brings me peace when things I have no control over take control of me in the form of worrying and obsessing and not being able to let things go. Then I thought of Psalm 139. It is the verse that Dr. Dean read to me when I went through my miscarriage. It gave me peace: peace that surpasses all understanding. It helped me to realize that God knows me more than any other. Everything that happens truly happens for a reason and I may never know why I'm going through a specific trial, but God knows and he will ALWAYS provide. This verse reminds me that God knows ME and he will always be faithful to me. We must remember to praise him daily for we ARE fearfully and wonderfully made even when the world trys to tell us we're not good enough.


Psalm 139
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

How To Deal

Okay, everyone has told me how wonderful blogging is so I'm gonna give it a try. My hope is that by doing this, I will learn about myself while learning how to deal with the stresses of everyday life. Isn't that what everybody hopes for? I am learning how to make time for 3 people now: my husband, my baby, and myself. The third one listed tends to feel neglected----let me explain: I don't feel neglected by my husband or baby. I feel neglected by myself at times. I am the furthest thing from being selfish, but I am still learning the difference between selfishness and taking care of myself. I struggle with finding that balance (as most women do). Right now, my biggest battle is learning how to switch from "me time" to "hubby time" to "baby time" to "hubby time" to "me time" to "baby time"........................you get the picture. I know my feelings are very natural and normal and I know that writing down my thoughts, fears, and desires for my life will help me tremendously. Life is hard---TRUE, but we get through all of the road blocks and detours ONLY through our trust and faith in God. I want to always remember that!