Thursday, July 26, 2007
Tired
I woke up so tired this morning. I have been trying to go to bed earlier so I feel better in the morning, but the hours between 9:30 and 12 are the only ones I have time to myself. I stay up on the couch with my favorite throw and watch friends reruns or just look up things on the internet. I love this time and I feel so wide awake at the time, but in the morning I feel like I've been hit by a truck as I listen to "momma, momma, momma". I told John this morning that I was exhausted and I wished I wouldn't stay up so late sometimes. I told him that was the only time I have for myself. His response was, "Maybe one day you'll realize you need to stop taking "me time". I don't ever get to." I told him that I NEED that and I realize he needs it too, but oftentimes I think that mothers need it more. I told him that. I told him that being a mother is a different kind of stress that I can't explain. Now, he didn't mean anything ugly about what he said, and I know he needs time to himself but he functions without it. The difference is that I don't function well without it. Am I way off about mothers needing it more? or is it just that we care more about taking care of ourselves because we know how crucial that is to our function AS a mother? or do men just not get it at all?
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6 comments:
although he doesn't count the many times a day that he's alone as "me time", he gets what you are seeking a lot more than he thinks. he may not be able to chill out, but he's not having to answer the cries of a child, and be "on" as a mother.
even though men can be very sensitive and tuned in to parenting, when they don't stay at home, they just don't see it like we do. i sometimes feel guilty for my "freedom" during the day, but then because I was responsible for two children's happiness all day, i think it all equals out in the end.
hang in there - i really think the tired goes away eventually. and just remember, you're not the only one so tired that the eye boogies stay in all day :)
As much as guys try to understand. I don't think God made them that way. We have a built in instinct that they have to learn. At the end of the day, I don't think Joe or any of our guys(maybe a few)would trade places with us, even though they offer it up. I didn't need "me time" as much when I had Josephine, But now I can't function with out it. I think all of us moms with kids need "me time" as much as a guy needs sex. Somehow they don't see it that way:)
Some day we are going to read this posts and comments and wish we could here our babies crying "momma" from there beds. GREAT,I just made myself cry.
I know Cortnie! That makes me want to cry. I love that little sound even though when I first hear it early I want to just go back to sleep! You almost made me cry!
You know, guys do get time to themselves like Krista said. It's in the form of watching baseball or whatever on TV even if there are kids playing in the room---it's still "me time" because they aren't having to take care of them at the same time as watching TV...
Being responsible for all of a little person's needs is exhausting. They have dirty diapers or need bottoms cleaned, they get hungry, thirsty, tired, bored - when men work all day, they are only responsible for their own needs.
I didn't even start to list the needs we have, and most of us can't fully attend to them when we are taking care of little ones. And oh yes, maintaining a house and keeping it running counts as taking care of another person, too. And grocery shopping...well, you know!!
I do think calling it "me time" makes it sound selfish to a man who does not understand - even though it is not. Just don't call it "me time." Call it "I have to go to Target/Walmart/Bank/Post office/or Old Navy by myself and I need you to take care of her for the next 2 hours."
Don't feel bad. We understand, even if he doesn't completely get it.
I just wanted to comment on my comment. I in no way am taking away from the huge responsibility our husbands have with providing for us.
I guess we just have different stresses. I just hope I did not offend anyone reading.
Hey, Scarlett,
Just now reading your July 26 post, Tired. I hope you got some me time since then. I do understand...My John gets to drive to work all by himself, listen to the station he wants to, etc. I crave alone time, it rarely happens. Oh, and it's been 16 years since the first kid was born here, and I am *still* tired. yawn.
susan w.
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